Last week, I published my personal 40 before 40 list. (Yeah, I let it all hang out and you can feel free to hold me accountable.) This week, I’m offering some suggestions in case you’d like to make your own “before” or bucket list.
But first, let’s discuss what a “before” or bucket list is and why you might want one: A “before” list is a collection of goals you’d like to achieve before a certain age and a bucket list is your lifetime to-do list (aka before you “kick the bucket.”)
As to why you might want one, I can think of a couple of reasons: 1) It encourages you to take note of your goals, ensuring they remain a priority, and 2) It gives you something to look forward to, to plan and to anticipate, which makes life more fun. Did you know that researchers found planning a vacation (not actually going on one) can boost happiness for up to 8 weeks? It thus makes sense that the simple act of looking forward to something would work similarly.
Not everyone is a fan of bucket lists, however. If you need a reason (or seven) NOT to make one, here ya go.
For those of you still on board the bucket list train, let’s get started. Here are some areas to consider in your planning:
The Big Stuff: Love, Life & Family
What life milestones do you want to accomplish? Do you want to get married? Become a parent? Own your own home? These are some obvious go-tos for your list. While I’d never written it down, one of my secret life goals was to be married before 30. Luckily, I got that one taken care of before the stress of an impending deadline and, in hindsight, I don’t think putting an age deadline on these big life items is a great idea but, if you’re working on a bucket list, add away.
Get Physical
Do you have any physical challenges you’d like to surmount? For example, do you want to bike cross country, hike a mountain, enter an endurance race, or become an American Warrior Ninja like Kacy Catanzaro? You could also look to smaller (and possibly more challenging feats) like starting a daily yoga practice, achieving and maintaining your ideal weight, or learning to love the skin you’re in, in this category. Here are some I considered:
Money & Career
I could have put money and career in the first “big stuff” category but—and this is where my personal bias comes in—I don’t consider money or career to be as important as life, love, and family. So, let’s discuss financial matters. What career or money milestones do you have for your life? Here are a few ideas:
- Contribute $100K to your retirement account
- Earn $75K per year
- Start a business
- Get a promotion
- Save or invest 10% of your income each year
Learn Something
“Once you stop learning, you start dying,” Albert Einstein said.
By all means, keep the grim reaper at bay through continued learning for your bucket list. Perhaps you’d like to go back to school to reach or adjust some of your career or financial goals. You could also study a foreign language, take a cooking class, or learn to fly a plane as my hubby did. Isn’t he cute in this week’s inspiration photo?
What do you want to know before your reach your next age milestone?
Adrenaline Rush
What’s the most exciting thing you can think of?
This category could have been included under “Get Physical,” but I wanted to acknowledge that sometimes you can have a lot of fun and test your limits without tons of advance training. Here’s your opportunity to go do something crazy: Skydive. Whitewater raft. Cliff dive. Abseil. Drive a race car. Be a fighter pilot for a day. Zip line. Parasail. If money’s a concern, hike up a nearby volcano or stand at the edge of a (safe!) cliff and enjoy the sun and breeze as it buffets you.
Wander
It’s easy to fill your list with travel ideas, but as the Huff Post article noted, doing so can challenge your enjoyment of each experience. So keep it simple and let your bucket list serve as inspiration rather than a source of stress.
What are your major travel wishes? Is there anywhere you’ve always wanted to go? A type of animal you want to see in the wild? A milestone you want to achieve? Here are a few of mine for inspiration:
- Visit every continent
- See the Northern Lights
- See African elephants in the wild
- Cruise the Mediterranean
 Honu (Sea turtles) on Punalu’u Black Sand Beach, Hawaii Close to Home
Before you get the idea that everything on your “before” or bucket list needs to be a grand adventure, think about things you can do close to home. You could, for example:
- Play tourist in your own city
- Wear a color you’ve never worn
- Write a manifesto – or a novel – or a poem
- Fly a kite
- Host a picnic
- Throw yourself an amazing birthday party
- Create a regular habit – hike, bike, walk, run, meditate, sing, dance, play an instrument
Eat!
And while you’re enjoying being near home, enjoy some food fun too. Perhaps you’d like to:
- Try a new restaurant or cuisine
- Get a food sensitivities or allergy test and change your habits
- Reduce your sugar intake
- Try an exotic wine or beer
- Make and then eat a dream dessert
Care
And last but certainly not least, as you’re writing your “before” or bucket list, don’t forget your caring and compassion for your fellow beings. As we say at Child Advocates, when you spend time volunteering with a foster youth, you change two lives. Why not:
- Donate 10% of your salary to a worthy cause
- Volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen
- Make a year-long-plus volunteer commitment
- Establish a foundation
- Mentor someone
- Volunteer abroad
- Sign a petition or, even better, start one
I hope this list was helpful in putting together some ideas for your own “before” or bucket list. If you need some more suggestions, check out the following:
And, before you go, let me know one item you’re going to put on your own list.
Thanks,
Three years from today I turn the big 4-0. (Happy Birthday to me!) When I decided to make a list of 40 things to do before 40, I wasn’t sure if I could fit 40 realistic goals into the next three years.
I’ve seen a lot of places and had a lot of interesting experiences in my 37 years: I’ve learned to cook authentic Ghanaian and Thai dishes alongside locals, glacier hiked Whistler Mountain in British Columbia, dropped over the highest commercially rafted waterfall in the world (Tutea Falls in New Zealand at just under 23 feet, in case you were wondering), learned to blow glass, and snuggled with a newborn elephant. So many good times!
 Hubby demonstrates improper pick axe form on Whistler Mountain, July 2007  Learning to cook Thai with Perm at the Best Thai Cookery School in Chiang Mai – 2011 Learning to blow glass at Island Glassworks in Kailua, HI – Summer 2010 Meeting a baby elephant at Patara Elephant Farm, Chiang Mai, Thailand – February 2011 My 40 Before 40 List
In an effort to push my boundaries and live to my fullest potential, I decided to give this a go. So, without further ado, here’s my list. I plan to:
- Try Peruvian food (Done! February 28, 2015)
- Sponsor an elephant (Done! July 2014)
- Visit Seattle (Done! August 2014)
- Train for and complete a 10K (Done! September 7th, 2014)
- Wear my joy, inspired by Kelly Rae Roberts (Done! Took her class)
- Play tourist in my “home city” (Done! – Discussed here and here and here)
- Try Scandinavian food (Done! February 2016)
- Develop and release a free, year-long course for my readers (Done! Launched September 2015)
- Expand my involvement with foster and at-risk youth
- Attend an NFL game (Done! September 2016)
- Exhibit my watercolor paintings (Done! Group show, August 1-30, 2014)
- Ride in a glider (Done! November 16, 2014)
- Attend Holi at Stanford (Done! April 4, 2015)
- Celebrate 10 years of marriage with a vow renewal in Hawaii (Done! May 28, 2015)
- Dance in the rain (Done! May 30, 2015)
- Try Stand Up Paddleboarding (Done! August 25, 2015)
- Attend a concert at Mountain Winery (Done! September 2015)
- Visit Mendocino, CA (Done! March 2016)
- Start a personal photography project (Done! March 2015)
- Do a color run
- Wear yellow (Done! October 22, 2014)
- Fly a kite
- Visit Europe again (Done! December 2016)
- See Stonehenge (Done! December 2016)
- Travel the Chunnel (Done! December 2016)
- See Rent (Done! February 2017)
- Take a sushi making class
- Finish my wedding album
- Write a 80,000-word novel
- Do something fun with my hair (Done!)
- Participate in a flash mob
- Take a documentary seminar with a photographer I admire
- Learn enough Spanish to have a 5-minute conversation with a native speaker
- Drive a dream car (Done! Easter 2016)
- Write a personal owner’s manual, as suggested by my friend Sherri Cannon
- Host Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas at home—with guests (Began Thanksgiving 2015)
- Get certified in CPR & first aid (Done! October 2016)
- Visit David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Nairobi, Kenya
- Stay in a 5-star resort
- Buy a house
- Make a list of at least 40 more things I want to do and begin planning those! (Done! Appearing July 2017)
There you have it, my 40 before 40. For some added fun, I put the list in the rough order I think it’ll be accomplished. Should be interesting to see how right (or wrong) I am.
What would be on your before 40 (or bucket) list? Stay tuned for some additional posts about creating your dream or bucket list.
Cheers,
Update 12/28/2014: Click for more bucket list inspiration.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the nature of beauty lately, ever since I realized that appreciation for it, as well as for art and nature, is central to my personal values. I think of beauty as something that inspires awe or reverence, less physically or aesthetically than emotionally impactful.
Alan Alda wrote, “What is beauty anyway? It’s more than something pleasant looking. If it doesn’t stop us in our tracks and make us unable to move for a moment, unable to put into words what’s closing off the breath in our throats, then maybe it’s pretty, but it probably isn’t beauty.”
Kathy of the Naked Gardiner writes: “Beauty takes on many forms, it can be the villain we love to hate, or the thing that repels us the most, but at the end of it all it is how we react and the choices that we set in motion that really allow our minds to perceive things in a light that is either favourable or distasteful.”
Yes, beauty is about perception. Funny thing about perception: While I don’t follow Dr. Phil, I wholeheartedly agree with his assertion that, “There is no reality, only perception.” (Life Law #6)
To that end, I want to share my favorite movie of the summer (so far): Maleficent. The hubs and I went to see it by accident. The film we’d meant to see had already started, our second choice was sold out, and so Maleficent became our third try’s a charm. And I’m so glad it did. Having not given the film much thought, other than its presentation of a subject people love to hate (the eponymous character and lead actress), I was very pleasantly surprised to find it turned everything Disney on its ear.
Jordan Shapiro shares Why Maleficent Matters on Forbes. Why do I love the film? Two reasons: It blurs the line between hero and villain (and forces us to rethink such coarse dichotomies in general), and it affirms the power of true love (and not the kind you think). You’ll have to see the film or read Jordan’s spoilers if you want to know more.
Before signing off this week, I have one more favorite for you:
Rob Brandford on what elephants can teach us about life. And, it’s plenty!
Kibo and Julius, at the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust Rob is director of the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, a Kenyan organization that has raised by hand more than 160 orphaned elephants and rhinos over its 30+ year history. To learn more about their amazing work or to see some more photos of baby elephants, please visit their website: http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org.
What’s your favorite Internet Inspiration this week?
Cheers,
Happy 4th of July!
As Thomas Jefferson wrote in The Declaration of Independence, adopted 238 years ago today:
And as Elizabeth Cady Stanton clarified in The Declaration of Sentiments, in 1848, “All men and women are created equal…,” in case there was any lingering doubt.
We are all equal.
Every one of us has an intrinsic, unconditional human value that is wholly separate from external factors, including appearance, intelligence, education, race, gender, skill, abilities or disabilities, physical fitness, income or net worth, church activity, marital status, history, energy level or health, self-control, productivity, likeability, power, selfishness or selflessness, or anything else outside our core beings. Everything external is just that—external to our intrinsic worth.
I’m sharing this message today because I need it myself. This is one I too have trouble remembering. Ironically, I have no trouble believing in the inherent worth of others; what I have trouble remembering is that I am equal to everyone else. My value is also unconditional and intrinsic.
You see, I often tie my perceived value to external events. When things are going well—when I’ve accomplished something I’m proud of or I’ve received praise or recognition—I feel great. When I’ve underperformed or made a mistake or am just having a bad day, I feel bad about myself.
As Glen R. Schiraldi, PhD, shares in The Self-Esteem Workbook, “A person is like a seed—whole; complete, but not completed—possessing in embryo every conceivable capacity: to think rationally, to emote, to sacrifice, to love, to make ethical choices, to recognize truth and worth, to create, to beautify, to be gentle, patient, or firm.” You see, we are all perfect, whole, and complete—and equal to one another in all of those things.
So, today, while you take time to celebrate our nation’s independence, take a moment to celebrate your own value independent of external things or events—past or present—and to honor the inherent worth of yourself and every other being on this planet.
Cheers,
I was looking through back issues of Oprah’s magazine recently, doing a late spring purge, when I found Oprah’s 7 Super-Soulful Reads. Although I haven’t read any of the suggestions in full, I knew most by name. One I didn’t know was Mark Nepo‘s The Book of Awakening, which is subtitled: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.
I haven’t written about this yet—because I’m still deep within it—but the subtitle immediately spoke to me because there’s something I strongly desire for my life, something I know to be essential, that is out of reach right now. And part of me feels out of control of my life because of that. Naturally, the idea of being present to and loving this life as it is now, in order to have the life I want, appealed.
Nepo’s book came up again that same week during a conversation with my friend Cassandra (she wrote about it here) and, with her added recommendation, I ordered the book from Amazon and have been enjoying it ever since.
Oprah writes: “One of my all-time Favorite Things! Mark Nepo’s collection of reflections is a year’s supply of gentle daily wake-up calls. Like most of us, he has thought a lot about the meaning of life, but because he is a poet, a philosopher, and a cancer survivor, his insights are special—and beautifully expressed. A book to be kept on the nightstand at all times.”
I couldn’t agree more. Because it is a daybook and we’re halfway through the year, I opened to the middle despite my trepidations and it welcomed me right in. Each day offers a message of wisdom followed by an exercise in mindfulness. I’ve been reading it first thing in the morning and, often, again before bed as well.
Today’s message particularly spoke to me, and so I’d like to share it with you:
July 1 – The Heart’s Blossom
All courage is threshold crossing. Often there is a choice: to enter the burning building or not, to speak the truth or not, to stand before oneself without illusion or not. But there is another sort of courage we are talking about here—the kind when afterward, the courageous are puzzled to be singled out as brave. They often say, I had no choice, I had to run in that building for that child. Or I had to quit my job or I would have died.
Despite all consequence, there is an inevitable honoring of what is true, and at this deep level of inner voice, it is not a summoning of will, but a following of true knowing.
My own life is a trail of such following. Time and again, I have heard deep callings that felt inevitable and which I could have ignored, but only at great risk of something essential perishing.
It was this honoring of what is true that guided me through my cancer experience: saying no to brain surgery and yes to rib surgery, saying yes to chemo and no to chemo. Each decision appeared both courageous and illogical to my doctors. Since then, I have been called heroic for surviving, which is like championing an eagle for finding its nest, and I have been condemned as selfish for seeking the Truth, which is like blaming a turtle for finding the deep.
Courage of this sort is the result of being authentic. It is available to all and its reward, far more than respect, is the opening of joy.
- Meditate on a decision that you are struggling with.
- Rather than focusing on your fear of what might or might not happen, try opening to what feels true.
- Without strategizing or imagining the consequences of honoring what feels true, simply let the truth as you know it rise within you.
- As you move through your day, let what is true fill you, even if you don’t quite understand it.
Wow! Right?! If only I’d received this insight last year—before embarking on a trip to India that I knew I didn’t want but felt obliged to undertake—but I welcome this message and its insights now, in what I will view as its own perfect timing.
Aren’t there always decisions to meditate on and come into knowing about and acceptance of? As I have learned to hear my intuition, there have been times I have known but chose not to heed that knowing because of fear or others’ expectations. Mark’s reminder to be courageously authentic is just what I needed today.
If it also calls to you, I think you’ll find The Book of Awakening to be an answer.
Cheers,
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Bukky - Super inspirational! Thank you.
Have a look at my bucketlist here: http://thebukkylist.weebly.com