I am in India. Hubby and I left home Wednesday, November 20th, arrived in Bangalore on Friday, the 22nd, and we expect to be here until late January, possibly longer.
When I first confirmed to my family that we were indeed relocating to India temporarily, my mom burst into tears. Here I am in my mid-thirties, having traveled to or lived abroad in 25 countries including Eastern Europe during the 90s (when my aunt was still referring to the region as ‘the Soviet Union’), Africa, and Southeast Asia, and my mom is apparently terrified for my safety in India. To my knowledge, she’s never had such an extreme reaction to my travel plans before. So, what’s the deal?
Well, I’m sure the news hasn’t helped. Time magazine recently declared “India’s Rape Epidemic,” as they’re calling it, the ninth top news story of 2013, and there really are appalling viewpoints among some of India’s leaders. Of course, what the news reports isn’t the full story.
It hasn’t been the only thing guiding my mom’s opinions, either. As she wrote in an email before we left, “All my peeps say please don’t go to India, it isn’t safe for Americans.” Every time I’ve spoken to her since arriving here, she’s had another pronouncement. The latest: “They have no respect for human life and, if you witness an accident, please don’t help anyone because you’ll be burdened with supporting their entire family for life.”
Hubby was quick to research the second claim. Yes, it’s true that India doesn’t yet have a good samaritan law, but support is growing for one.
As to the other point—that Indians have no respect for human life—I have no idea how anyone could come to this conclusion about another culture, and particularly about India. Did you know that India has the lowest meat consumption of any country? Two out of every five Indians are vegetarian or lacto/ovo-vegetarian. Why is this relevant? Because in India, the vegetarian lifestyle largely stems from a mandate of nonviolence toward all living things—as outlined by many of the country’s religions, including Jainism, Buddhism, and Hinduism. And remember Gandhi, father of nonviolent civil disobedience? Yeah, ’nuff said.
Back to the news, though, what would foreigners think about America if all they read were the latest headlines: thrill killings, rapes (including those orchestrated by teenage girls), muggings, drug use, and an alarming tendency to lock up its citizens—and that’s just in the last month. But, America’s a big country, you might be saying. Darling, so is India.
India is the seventh largest country by land mass—behind Russia, Canada, the US, China, Brazil & Australia—and second largest in population, behind China. It is incredibly diverse both geographically and culturally, something I experience daily. Brian and I are living in a quiet neighborhood north of the city center, a place Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, and Hindus all call home. And we’re not alone. There are other foreigners here, too, including everyone else in our building.
Although nowhere is 100% safe, I take precautions to ensure my safety, too—I dress conservatively, I don’t wander the streets alone at night—and to date, I have had ZERO inappropriate encounters. No one has made obnoxious comments, eve-teased, or anything else. Sure, people stare sometimes, both women and men. And sure, auto rickshaw drivers try to hit me up for an extra buck or two…they know I can afford it. But most everyone we encounter is friendly and helpful, and some are downright welcoming, like the staff and patrons at our local coffee shop.
You see, we’re doing fine. So this is a plea to whoever has been filling my mom’s head with negativity: Please stop. It serves no one to bring up every possible thing that could go wrong when her daughter and son-in-law are living abroad.
And, if you believe as we do, that what you focus on expands, all of this negativity is actually creating more opportunity for bad situations. So again, please, please stop.
Thank you,
