Last week, I shared my pillars of happiness, 10 (ok, 11!) reminders that help me to lead a happy, healthy life. Today I’d like to help you develop yours.
First, let’s talk about what I mean by happiness. For me, true happiness is about being satisfied with your life. It’s not about a frenzied ecstasy or intensity of feeling, which is fleeting and unsustainable. Rather the pillars were developed to help create a long-term sense of well-being and they provide reminders to help you do just that.
Photo Credit: Paul Anglada via Compfight cc
So, now that you better understand their purpose, let’s talk about how you can develop your own. On a holistic level, determining what makes you happy is about being present to how you’re feeling. When you’re feeling good, take note of what’s going on in your life? Where are you and what are you doing when you’re feeling content, happy, settled? What lessons can you take from that feel-good experience?
If you’re not feeling so hot, however, it may be harder to identify what would help. You could look back to the last time you did feel good, but you can also consider certain elements of necessity for all humans. Start with the basics:
- Have you been taking care of your body? Have you been eating well, drinking sufficient water, and getting adequate sleep?
- Do you have any immediate health needs? Allergy symptoms? Pain? What can you do about that?
- Do you feel safe? Are you secure in your home environment and employment? If you feel unsafe, consider what would help make you feel more secure: a job change, asking for additional support from your friends and family, or would changing your outlook improve your feelings about your situation?
Yes, it’s really that simple. If you have a tendency to forget any of these critical human needs, they are great starts to your pillars. For example, mine include taking a multivitamin or iron supplement because, when I’m feeling ok, I tend to stop taking my iron supplement and, when I’m feeling run down, the list provides a little jolt of aha! on which I can take positive action. If you find that you’re physically fine but your attitude needs improvement, consider creating a gratitude practice.
After your basic needs are being met, it will be easier to discover other factors that bring you joy. For example, do you feel better:
- After sitting in the sun?
- Going for a walk?
- Listening to music?
- Connecting with a friend?
- Doing something productive?
- Cleaning?
- Creating or thinking creatively?
- Repeating or writing an affirmation?
- Praying or meditating?
- Setting aside some alone time?
- Taking 20 minutes to read for pleasure?
- Practicing yoga or going for a run?
As I write this, Jack Johnson’s “Banana Pancakes” is playing. I don’t eat banana pancakes—not really a banana fan—but I love the song! And it’s perfect to wrap this post. After all, the song is about taking pleasure in the moment and, as Jack sings, it’s meant to “keep ya from doing what you’re supposed to…”
Being present to how you’re feeling and doing what you want to versus what you believe you’re supposed to is the bottom line when it comes to developing and living your pillars of happiness.
Enjoy—and please let me know how you do!
Cheers,
Special thanks to my friend Cassandra for inspiring me to write this post and the one before it!
